Here's the thing: I'm boring myself. I can only imagine what that means to the handful of people who stop by to read this blog. I think they come here because, on very rare occasions, I have something interesting to say. But not very often. People stop by mainly because I've traded with them, maybe shared a connection thanks to our collective interest in cardboard, and because I have some nifty pictures of cards to look at, and we all love cards.
But, let's be honest. As much as I enjoy writing, I've failed to really find a niche here. There are many people out there with card blogs, writing far more interesting things. I know that's true because I regularly stop by to see what they have to say. And, if I'm being honest with myself, I'm pretty sure that Playing With My Cards, if it were some other dude's blog, would not be on my must-read list. It might be if reality matched up with the way I imagine things could be. But it doesn't. And I'm beginning to realize that it probably never will.
1995 Topps Traded Mark Gubicza KCR #94T
The thing is, though, I don't want to lose my place in this community. I've enjoyed being a part of it too much. I don't want to lose my connection with y'all. So, here I am, an uninspired blogger, churning out meaningless posts ("look what I got... look what I got..."), when I am able to motivate myself to even do that, simply as a way to hold on to my place in the community. As a result, I'm pretty much wasting everyone's time, including my own. Hell, I feel sorry for anyone who's reading this right now.
2005 Donruss Team Heroes Billy Wagner PHI #234
2004 Topps Total Kelvim Escobar ANA #115
I feel especially sorry for Alex, of Chavez Ravining, who was kind enough to send these spiffy cards my way. He deserves at least the words that I'd planned to write about them, explaining that I dig the Grips, that some (like the Leskanic and Schilling below) have me thinking about what should really be considered a Grips card, that I dig getting Topps Total cards from him, that I enjoyed all of the other great cards of pitchers that he sent (such as the Finley further down the page), etc., etc., etc. But, frankly, even that would have been boring... even to me.
2004 Topps Total Curtis Leskanic KCR #614
2004 Topps Total Curt Schilling BOS #230
I feel sorry for Nick, and Harry/Mark, and Chris and Gavin and the handful of others who have stopped by and supported me since I first imposed myself on the bloggin' world. I feel sorry for those I didn't just mention, who deserved to be named. I feel sorry for the people who have sent me cards and haven't yet received their due. I feel sorry for Bo and Al, who probably aren't reading after waiting nearly a year to find out which one of them has won a contest that was supposed to end last year.
2001 Upper Deck Chuck Finley CLE #80
I feel like having this blog and engaging in trades with you awesome card-bloggin' people out there entails making a promise that I am having a very hard time keeping. But, then again, feeling this way means that I'm being way too self-important. And if I'd just shut up about my neuroses, try to just come up with the occasionally interesting post, and enjoy the experience of blogging, reading, and trading, everything would be fine.
1995 Upper Deck SP Wilson Alvarez CHW #143
1995 Upper Deck SP Mo Vaughn BOS #125
I hope very few people wasted their time reading this post. Alex probably did, hoping and expecting something better for his generous efforts. Sorry, Alex.
So, what's the answer? Do any of you go through this? When you have bad days, or weeks, maybe even months, and you have trade posts backed up, and ideas you don't have the time or inspiration to properly implement, or have nothing particularly interesting to say, what do you do? How do you remain a part of things while you're not feeling like you're a part of them? Or do you even have these kinds of problems, or worry about them if you do?
I guess I hope these are rhetorical questions, since I hope nobody's reading this.
Thanks for the cards, Alex. I dig the cards, and I enjoy having them. Whether I have an interesting or inspired way of saying that, it needs to be said. Thanks, Alex!
(To be continued...)