First Dime Box Card Show: Trippin' on Oddballs

Nick's brilliant choices as my Dime Box Card Show proxy shopper had me giddy from the start. I mean, just looking at groovy cards like this has to give you the warm and fuzzies...

2001 Upper Deck Decade 1970's Dave Kingman NYM #75
2001 Upper Deck Decade 1970's John Mayberry TOR #10

But then something odd happened about the time that Nick passed me this...

2003 Fleer Tradition Jung Bong ATL #435

Jung Bong?

Woah...!

2013 Topps 75th Anniversary Donkey Kong #81
2013 Topps 75th Anniversary Battlestar Galactica #73

Suddenly I found myself thinking about my childhood, back when people didn't give me funny looks when I said I felt like playing. Visions of sitting in front the the Atari with a six pack of Pepsi by my side came floating through my brain. I said "felgercarb," whatever that means, as a barrel came rolling toward me at dangerously high speeds. I saw a robotic dog and a mad gorilla. I remembered that I had a crush on Erin Gray, though I couldn't remember who that was. It was just so... what's the word...?

Dude. Right. Random. I was totally going to say that. Random. Ran. Dom. What a trippy word. Ran. Dumb. Fan. Gum. Bran. Plumb.

1991 Post Rickey Henderson OAK #27
1993 Hostess Darryl Strawberry LAD #7

Then, just as suddenly, I was hungry. I wanted cereal with strawberries. I wanted Ding-Dongs and Twinkies and Sno Balls...

1992 Markesan Police Department Chris Bosio MIL
1993 Jimmy Dean Doug Drabek HOU #19

I wanted sausage, too. And I began to develop an irrational fear of the police. Dude, I wasn't doing anything wrong. Why did the fuzz wanna harsh my buzz? (Wait, I have a buzz...?)

1995 Kraft Singles Superstars Barry Larkin CIN #24

(Why do I have a buzz...?) Ooooooo, look! Cheese slices. These will go great with that sausage! And there's a baseball card... with instructions? Woah. After reading the instructions, like, eight times, I finally gave up and started tugging and pulling on different parts of the card. I mean, I had to play with the thing, right...?

No... friggin'... way! I just sat there and stared at this thing for, like, three hours (or was it 30 seconds?). Whatever, man, it's all 3-friggin'-D, dude!

What was I talking about, again? Oh yeah, I think it was baseball cards or something...

1989 Star Brian Champion Durham Bulls #69

Wow, this guy must be good. He's a star. He's a champion... bull rider...? Is that how his teeth got that way? And what's that stuck to the end of his bat? And isn't he worried about that giant set of eyes watching him? You see them, don't you? It's not just me, is it? Why am I so paranoid!?

Com'ere. Lemme tell you a secret. I don't know if I should be telling you this, but the Dime Box king sent three dime bags in this package. They were minor league team sets for a cool dime apiece. Too bad you can't just walk up to some guy in the park and buy stuff like this.

1989 Best Stockton Ports Chris Moreno/Mike Wickhan Batboys #26
1989 Best Stockton Ports Danny Fitzpatrick #12

Where else are you gonna find batboy cards, or a big burly Irishman who doubles as a bouncer when the game is over? (Is that logo a drawing of the bouncer holding a bat!?)

1990 Best Knoxville Blue Jays Woody Williams #18
1990 Best Knoxville Blue Jays Pat Hentgen #4

Where else you gonna find future solid major-league pitchers who are now retired with baby faces, just getting started?

1990 Best Jacksonville Expos Richie Lewis #20
1990 Best Jacksonville Expos Lorenzo Bundy CO #27

Or a guy who clearly lost a bet? (I'm not the only one who sees a stuffed little guy on his lap, right?) Or your first card of the new Dodgers third base coach? And how about that logo? They took the Expos logo and rolled a J for Jacksonville. The logo sure looks happy to be here, doesn't it?

Those minor league cards were great, huh? You're certainly not gonna get stuff that good from that guy who's always standing on the corner in a trench coat, even when it's eighty degrees out. Wow... These cards are really starting to get to me. I'm not sure how much more I can handle...

Uh-oh...

1961 Post (Box) Jerry Lynch CIN #187

I'm starting to lose my sense of time. One minute I thought it was 2014, the next, I'm in the early 1960s...

1960 Leaf Tom Borland BOS #26

Now things are turning black and white! (Hey, that guy stole Don Mossi's ears! Give 'em back, dude!)

1969 Globe Imports Willie Davis LAD #9S
1962 Exhibit Stat Back Wally Moon LAD #27

Now my sense of proportion is starting to go. I could have sworn that one of these cards was tiny and the other huge!

I had all but lost touch with reality by the time Nick started to reel me in...

Thanks, Nick. I needed that! Stay tuned. When next we revisit the First Dime Box Card Show, we'll take Nick's advice to heart. In the meantime, pass the peanuts and Cracker Jacks, wouldja...?